to my followers

I just want to apologize to my followers. I have not blogged. I have put back by my blog writing due to over eating, poor time management and just being way too overwhelmed with how to manage going to class, doing homework, going to the gym, eating and not eating, etc etc. I will blog on events past over the course of the next week or so. Also, more recent events and updates asap.

Thank you for your understanding and patience!


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EYE#12- Felicia's eye.
All is reflected,
in this looking glass.
A person.
A moment.
A feeling.
(Even a pair of hands and a camera!)
Anyone can see that...
this eye is open-minded,
and warm.

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stuffed grape leaves

My mom and I went to Whole Foods (my favorite grocery store) on Saturday to get appropriate groceries for my vegetarian/veganism. I have to say, I love shopping for groceries! Having slowly transitioned to a more serious vegetarian diet only months ago (with some difficulty eliminating dairy and fish), however, many products, recipes and diet essentials are new to me.
After picking my So Delicious (coconut milk) yogurts, I made my way over to the vegan cheeses. Not sure which vegan cheese brand I wanted, I took a few minutes and scanned the shelves. After selecting a cheese, I noticed on a lower shelf, in the vegan cheese section, were premade snack/appetizer items, presumably for vegetarians and vegans. What caught my eye were a container of stuffed grape leaves.
I hadn’t ever seen stuffed grape leaves before and thought I would give it a try. After asking permission to buy them, I put them in my cart! My mom just nodded. She didn’t seem impressed, not like I was. I guess they didn’t look the most appetizing but they looked “healthy-ish” (Ok, maybe it’s just the name “grape leaves” that convinced me, but still).
After unpacking my groceries, I made sure my next move was to taste the contained appetizer snacks I had bought. I first tried some chickpea, brown meatball looking, donut hole like, balls with a dip. Yuck!
Then, I opened the stuffed grape leaves container. I was satisfied. They were oily as expected. Inside the leaves were rice…and spices?! I didn’t totally care or think too much about it. I ate about three of them and felt satisfied. Other than being a bit oily, ok, too oily, the grape leaves were a possitive experience. I love trying new foods!

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crazy coincidence

You know what I find odd? I find the fact that he (he being the last guy I had a connection or whatever with) texts me though we no longer are going out. He texts me just at the right time, when I’m down in the dumps and am in need of support. He texts me when I’m sad. He texts me when I’m lonely. He texts me when I think about guys. He texts me when I’m frustrated. He texts me when I’m trying to forget him. How does he know when to text me? I don’t tell him that I’m blue or angry or frustrated. I don’t text him or call him. How does he know? Even if he does figure out how I’m feeling…how does he pick the appropriate moment? And how is it always at the time when I’m thinking of reaching out to him but telling myself not to because I can’t bare getting tangled up in our disastrous connection? How is it that this happens? Must be a CRAZY coincidence!

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EYE#11- Kristi's eye.
Green. Gorgeous. Beautiful too.
Even a frame of glass can't keep
this eye from shining at you.

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happy heart

oOo happy heart!
today was good.
I didn’t workout.
No homework done.
I overate.
I was late to work.
I drew pictures with crayons!
chatted with the new librarian.
black markered out books for the free book cart.
talked to our library intern.
asked the intern advice on guys and friends.
dropped books on the floor.
laughed, and smiled.
found some cool books to take home.
talked more to the intern and new librarian.
saw the friendly security guy. 🙂
said a brief hello.
smile. smile. smile.
and my heart was happy.
simple things are making my day.
OoO happy heart!

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I finally, after much avoidance, talked to my advisor, the head of counseling and the disability service staff member about how to best deal with my overload of classes. (I should have known the tears would be endless!)

I was a mess! Tear after tear, there was no stop to my overflowing emotions. I went to class looking like I had just lost a relative or found out I was dying or kicked out of school or something super tragic. Instead, it was just my upset with myself that caused the nonstop tears.

The tears kept flowin’ and somehow I kept goin’.

I went to my advisor. I went to the head of counseling. I went to class. I went back to the head of counseling and also, to the disability service staff member. I went home, briefly. I went to the gym. And eventually, home again.

The best way to describe my day is to say it was a rollercoaster of tears. Up and down. Back and forth. All over the place halopazoo! At the end of my emotional rollercoaster, my eyelids were puffy,red,and swollen. I looked like shit.

The disability service staff member recommended I watch GLEE. Her thought was that something light hearted and funny would make my tears stop and put a smile on my face. True, that I was happier after first having gone to the gym for a few hours, then watching GLEE and finally singing my heart out, for 45 minutes, in my room.

GLEE is a show that lifts my spirits and brings my happy, singing self back to life. Each week there is one song I cannot stop singing. This week it was “Forget You” sung by Gwyneth Paltrow! It makes me want to get up and dance and also, sing!

Thank you GLEE! Also, God and the school staff for making life just a bit more manageable and enjoyable again!

Check out “Forget You”! (Maybe you’ll feel like dancing too!) :

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